chasing the last train to nowhere.

my life seems like a refuge running around,
scampering and finding comfort in everything, but then again i find
myself laughing how i got so paranoid and the fact i am still protesting against the fact that i,siti kamirah, is gonna finally end my tertiary education..

saying goodbye and farewell is painful when there lots lots lots of memories and whole backpack of life-learning valuable lessons, pardon me, i do take back some useful information as well...

ask me if i am excited, i would say i am half excited, i practically have no idea what will happened to me after 23rd Jan 2009, no, i am not bragging about the early holidays, but i have a whole future in my hands.
talking about a nineteen year old deciding and shaping her future, gosh that will be the most scariest thing i will have to do..
seriously, what i do next determine where am i am gonna be in the next 3 months or so..

i am at crossroads where all i have is decisions and choices and decision and choices to be make.I am also thinking of the consequences if i quit before i get my future plans straightened out, that would spell d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r.

My expectations and ambitions has taken me to a level where i really need to do whole lot better, and more importantly screening all my options and make sure its within my limit. I could scream like there's no tomorrow.

okie enough of all the preppy talks.
i guess i am missing a summary of my happys days.
seriously, i need to get back to Life.

i guess i noe what could cheer me up,a post about me turning old.muahahaha.

self reflect, future planning

so tmrw(thurs) there will be Career Fair in school and i thought it is already time for me to get my mind straight and start planning how to grow money, make my wallet fat and make my bank go crazy with all the money.

after having waffle with bestie, walked down to the clinic which has the clinic assistant promo, and i was trying my luck to get the application form coz i tot it would be near my home..and this is what i get..

me: hey i saw the advertisement about clinic assistant, so how do i apply...

she:can apply here ar, but you wont get here ar...they will ar post you to any other clinic that needs staff ar..

me: okie, it is possible to see the application

she:can ar but you must fill in here,cannot bring home ar..but you do ar..they will see laa which clinic needs you

me:okie sure,can i just see the form

she:*in chinese*give her see ar the form(talks to the other assistant) + giving me a stare.

hahaha.relax ar nyonya...scared i take away your job mehhh?hahahaha
so i decided to think it over and just left the clinic.

was surfing and reading some blogs which obviously have interesting entries,i came across this career test survey.is a super long want, but it contains truth,i think.hehe
here what is says for me.


maybe true maybe not.

her state of mind

emotionally overwhelmed?jaded?sober?fiery angst?upset?melancholy?...
or simply said,clueless about describing the state of mind and feelings..
weird isn't it? how something that is closely related to you seems to be too difficult to be express in words or worst sort it right.

how could something simple be so complicated?

making decisions is something i would try to work on..
succumbing to the dark side apparently sound more interesting than being the nice and demure and everything nice. somehow, being myself, doesn't bring me anywhere..a little spice of evil and rebel is all i need to end of my ouh-so-no-innocent nineteen.

sitting back and reminscing, thinking of all those things i should have done and should have avoided. i have left nothing but memories, and there is too much that i have learn and there is a only a little room of regret. getting myself trapped in these 'non-existence' emotional dillema which is almost equivalent to being in a state of emotionally distubed is very disturbing.

sleepless night period is over,
i am not gonna make myself emotionally drained anymore.






okie i promise a proper update real soon.hehe

her state of mind

emotionally overwhelmed?jaded?sober?fiery angst?upset?melancholy?...
or simply said,clueless about describing the state of mind and feelings..
weird isn't it? how something that is closely related to you seems to be too difficult to be express in words or worst sort it right.

how could something simple be so complicated?

making decisions is something i would try to work on..
succumbing to the dark side apparently sound more interesting than being the nice and demure and everything nice. somehow, being myself, doesn't bring me anywhere..a little spice of evil and rebel is all i need to end of my ouh-so-no-innocent nineteen.

sitting back and reminscing, thinking of all those things i should have done and should have avoided. i have left nothing but memories, and there is too much that i have learn and there is a only a little room of regret. getting myself trapped in these 'non-existence' emotional dillema which is almost equivalent to being in a state of emotionally distubed is very disturbing.

sleepless night period is over,
i am not gonna make myself emotionally drained anymore.






okie i promise a proper update real soon.hehe