gua bingit!!

i dunno ehh.
i have lost de enthusiasm to study oredi.
lesson is either too difficult or too boring or too merepek or maybe it lies in de group formation and even de grades that i have been getting or even de facilitators.
all i want was to stay in school but not in class.
and i feel like having morePPP meetings,cause dats when i will b able to let myself free.
and damn i misssed it.
java was preety okie on tues, but i maybe it just me having dese negative stupid attitude.
I AM SOOOO TIRED sehh.
people are not soo supportive nowadays.
and i feeel so damn pissed.
i cant help it sehh.i need to sleep now.i mean it.
i really reaaly mean now.



okie.
snappped.
shaff and shimah self declared holiday startson tuesday.yeay.
and yanti is kind enuff to come to class.
and so i assume i am gonna be in class on friday. like with who??
yar.
URGHHHHHHHHHHHHH


i need a change of blogskin.like serius seh.
anybody helpppp.?

i love my new personal message.
teeshirt jeans girl.
:))

and sooo.
two days for rest.
like errr today and thurs.
okie so had lunch with razan.
RAZAN I AM SOOOO GONNA MISS YOU
i hate it when u are mad but i love it when u agrees with me
i hate when u are pissed but i love when u start being random
i hate when u are not here but i love to know that you gonna miss me.

bammmm
i noe people are against me dis few days.
i can sense it.U dun have to tell me.
I am sorry thuis have to happened.

okie.
so i stepped to town like FINALLY
meet up with nurra and fyeza
and fyeza joined her Dago for dinner while nurra did some shopping hunt
i need a new bag.
would someone lend me $50??
my bag has a hole now..
:(
haha.i cant deny i love shopping but shuck no money.
I wants to cut my hair.
haha.i noe.

i love you lah fyeza but i hate you for cancelling de photography date
nyehnyeh.
so we complains about how brothers are nicely treated by mothers
LIKE SERIOUS!!
her mom and my mom make a good pair.
haha.
we are victimised and now i cant deny i am goona be a lil bit sexist.
i am gonna say I hate boys...
see what dey done.
FYEZA!!lets write a book abt how to survivor as sisters.haha
wahlahhhhh.


i swear its fading.
i guess its over.
till i meet u again

life have been extra lovely.

rite people.

cmon.

sat had meeting wif cik anuar.

I LOIKE CANNNNN?? wahhh.very hardworking crew.i like:)

as blur as the girl wif black tudung.but i still sayang.

so den left my PPP team and headed marsling for CDAC
Volunteer Nite
It was fun to get back together with my crazy bunch of SLC.
I like.and i like de lucky draw.and the card.and the people and de food and de games
we palyed game like musiclicious.LIKE WOW

our thank you card.

maya and her lucky draw gift.hehe

and i date shikin on sunday,
get some love stuff for shikin and do some survey.
hehe.
i was searching for naq's and fatin's earphone but cant find.
dat makes me double heartbroken.
and some news too.
haiz...

so i bought these two over the weekend.
okie please!!somebody can slapped me.
i have been shopping blindly.
and dis gonna be de last thing i buy dis May okie?
haha
you couldnt less agree with me but all these things are cute:))

cute kan kental???

and akhbar have been complaining
he said i sound so drama mama now a days
and deiya complains that i am more vulgar now.so full of angst.
am i???

lets break the silence
let break the space
and
lets love blossom in the presence
of our silence and space....

okie.

today IT security class like damn early okie.

and no one is oin class, everybody left so early.

and i have to stay for my PPP meeting

and damn.PP haven do.haha.

my internet page is being a bitch dat i have to use the school laptop, but lucky the better Acer not the IBM with loose screen.

okie life has been hectic eversice God noes when.

i safely say that i am in love with my life eventhough its kinda sucky at times :x

and i am greatful that my lovely girlfrens are here to be my me.

haha.and sorry to some girlfriends if i am being a bitch at times, hurting you at times.

i am sorry to my almost-hard-to-meet or now-longer-meet-girlfriends..i am sorry.

i have changed and i dont know whether its for the good or worst.

*crossfingers*

and i realise how hurtful truth was and reality do bites.

bites hard.too bitter to swallow.

dont blame anyone or even fate.

have faith in all that had happened,

we are being test to bring out the best and to stay persevere and resilience.

sesungguhnya kite di uji kerana keupayaan kita, dan janganlah merungut.

and yarr.

CMON PEOPLE!!
GET UP AND STAND UP.

CHIN UP AND LOOK FAR.

weet.okie.

on a lighter note,

the phantom of the opera is superb can.

anything free is NICE.

Blades of Glory is nice too.

super shaming story.go watch okie?

so.

yah.hmmm.

what else to say and share.

my class,is awesome.hahaha

especially, my yanti and shaff and shimah!!

haha.

i thought we moved on

but too bad...

u left me far at the back...

i am just watching you from afar...

i had sooooooo much fun!

earlier in de afternoon, i went watch blades of glory with aunt laila.

den had lunch but kinda stop eating wen cik heri called and say he got two tix to PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.

like WAHH.

so rushed home and changed to go and watch.

and damn i am sleepy now.

will continue later in class okie??

got myself phantom mask necklace.aww.

and i had sooooo much fun in theatre.

all i asked

was just a simple affection...

ibu is weird.
like she get angry when i dont want to eat.
like OH MY!!
yahh.


okie.saturday was LOVE!
i missed hanging out with girlfrens.
and i missed de feeling of going out on Sats.
ouh MY.where have I been all dese while?missing my saturday funs.
nyeh.
note: i am looking forward to have saturday outings. you dont have to have boyfriend to go on saturday ok syg.
haha.

anyway.date wif razan.more like study date.
razan had to study for her test.and she have like 12 more surahs to study.
ALL DE BEST LOVE.
like normal, we bitched around.and we share a lot.a lot.dirty lil secrets too i guess.
i so loving you okie.
and love my overall too.haha
and i think i have a loving sensation growing among my Pentas Karyawan babe.
esp nad and razan..
and de whole geng cann??
PENTAS KARYAWAN IS LOVE...rite?

and i went over to FYEZA plce
and yah i miss you damn a lot.
and i miss hanging on ur bed,and i miss laughing wif you.
and sorry u have to mengidam ben's and jerry for a longer period of time.
and you didn have a decent pic taken.
and i love you de way you are
and thanks for bringing back de primary and secondary school old time fave song
and thanks for singing out loud together
and thanks for being my ex-wife/husband.
and thank god i met you.
and berape byk and darrr

i love my girlfrens.

and soo my another girlfren deiya, said dis dat make exhilarated gilerr

/'DeiYa'/ sugarprincess.daGIRLwitEpinkLANYARD says:
one day i'll draw inai with u.. and while im drawing u can imagine ur persandingan

why bother a boyfriend when you have your girlfriends ?


i officially taken-ed by my many girlfrensss!




i will choose to stay for a moment more,
to even see if my presence make sense to you,
to even see whether i will always be the reason to smile


with love,

before i even starts.
i would like to warn readers that dis gonna be a damn mixed emotion post.
i dun feel great today.seriously am.
so bear wit my cries.

but i would first re-cap on de great happenings in my life so far.
okie.i skipped school halfway before my mind and doul was not totally in class.
so we decide to skipped class.yeap my whole group.
who else if not my sweet girlfrens, yanti, shaff and shimah:)
we were practically laughing our arse off during second meeting and half of third meeting.
and den i left school with nadiah.yeap de sweet lil small girl.deiya.
yeap she oso left coz she wasnt feeling unwell.her heart was throbbing in pain- dat what she claim.hehe.
so we make out way to toa payoh to meet another sexy girlfren.razan.yeap,she wasnt in school so we decided to have lucnh at fork and spoon.and there goes our normal gossip and bitching moment.OPPS.
and yeah, there was dis once, a girl was hypher-ventilating in class cause i think she ran and had asthma.i assume. so i was like stunned can?and i was telling deiya dat i cant wait to shout out 'somebeody!call 995!' and deiya cant wait to shout 'somebody help me'.haha
okie den we went. errr.KBOX at toa payoh.
yeap.karoake babe.haha.we danced and ssing and shout our hearts out.like hell yeah lah.
its worth my money even thou there is a huge hole in my pocket now.but dis day will always be remembered babe!!minus de terryfying ending.shant elaborate.read deiya's blog to noe more.

and today,
bismuth was in RP.
so we soemhow had a 'gig' like in de afternoon.
i must say they have big and great talent.
and
we had RPMCG WELCOME TEA.
but no tea served!
okeii might say it was nice and great.
especially de spontaneous performance(skit) created by razan, 'arifah, nadiah and naq.
IT WAS AN AWESOME 10 MINS SHOW!
and i swear i was moved to tears.
and i wasnt in any mood like since after UT.
so dat explains my sulking face in pic and trying my nest to deny any photo taken.
but zul managed to snap stupid pics of de pentas karyawan.damn and how i hope it is not in mcg sharepoint*crossfingers*
so went hunting razan's mom handbag.it was a failure coz she dint get anything at last.
so no worries babes.u still make my day with ur silly gestures:)

okie now de damn rejected detested part of me.
today,somehow, somewhat, something had made me feell like i am a loser.
something that made me drained
something that make me feel like i am a burden
i just have to say and keeping saying sorry for hurting you.
and i am sorry that i had to be dat bitch.
i am seriuosly feeling ratherly low.
and to people that are constantly around me, i just have to thank you for being here and lending me a shoulder, i tot i have learnt and grown and moved, but seem i was left behind.
i wish i could be a better person.




i think i had enough.
i had to learnt to stop running.
stop chasing.
stop loving.....

these is somewhat people think abt me.
dis was taken ystd while i was browsing my album,
it was written last year, when it was de last few days in millenia inst.
so our malay teacher, cikgu marnee asked us to write what is our first impression to the person.
so here is some.where i find it rather true.
somewhat true larr.

i dunno whether you all can see.
the one that makes me think and laugh was a remark made by till-now-i duuno-who,
apparently she/he said that
'org ni cumer chat je tapi kat sekolah tak bebual ah.bebual sikit.tapi orgnye baik.Cool!'
[translation: this person only chat but at school talk a lil oni.but she is kind.Cool!]
and this staement had cause 3 people to agree as well.so i am wondering who are these 4 ppl.
but still. i love my memories at MI(toh tuck).
nyahh.

haha.okie.
practically i am bored today, so you noe, i have a lot to do:))
and i am still not doin it.
mira is lazy.
haha.
i hope my bro comes home late, so i can hog on de comp.
but no.he is back now.like after i finish typing dis.
NOOOOOO
shitt lar...

i'll be waiting.

with love,

hello
its dam early i de morning, but i am still awake and a lot i running thru my mind. okie to be precise when i finished this sentence, its already two am. and gosh.my butterflies are flying violently.

and i seriuosly need to go shopping.
i have been losing my earstuds and i need to dress more feminely.
how i get jealous to see some plus size women dress more confidently and beautifully.
i have to stop my selekehness seh.okie bestfriends.i need my shopping.
but my enemy(time and money) just never gonna let me go.

okie so i wasnt in school on tuesday.yah.
it wasnt on purpose seh.
my alarm was not ringing and i noe its not a godd reason mira.and the headache late night i have been having also helps me seh.
but hey its a rainy morning seyy sayang.
haha.
i remember vividly that there was this point if time i was running in de rain which happened in my dreams, and thanks ehh, it was because i din close my windows and thus i had this feeling that i was wet.
haha.and thanks, shimah and shaff and yanti is not in class too.haha.see how notti are we.
wahcha.basically all de malay girls are absent.
OUCH!

okie
but i was kind enuff to make my way down to school
to attend Nadi Sastera Introductory meeting.
hahaha.baik sungguh kan aku.
and it was lovee lah seh.
some shocking news and yah.breathe in and out and its over.
and soo we continued introducing ourselves and NS have never been quiet.
it is always laughters and thanks to zul and dan for adding it more.haha.and we played Pyramid.and it is sweeet.
i remember playing it during my my first nadi.
and i was partnered wif razan and DAMN we were good.i remeber her face
when she asked me to guess Persatuan Permuda Pemudi Singapura.or something like that.
aku sayang kamu, my Nadi Sastera girlfriends.hehe
OPSS

and so...
i am tired.
and
damn.
i missed it.hahaha.
how i tried to make it last
i am scared its fading.
i hope its not
*cross finger*

okie chiow.
its oredy 2.15 am now.
i gonna watch my UglyBetty.
bye.




with love,

okie.
currently, my mind is still lagg just like de internet connection in school.
which sux totally coz no access to internet.not no connection.but lag gile bab nye.
and currently de song that really suit my feelings is "Senyuman Ragamu" by Gerhana Ska Cinta.
SKA rox.

and i loving my hallucination.haha.
and i love my Saturday.THANK YOU PEOPLE.
okie.again another workshop for PPP and i loving it every bits.
we talked abt directing.and wirni if you are reading this,GET WELL SOON HONEY.
*random note and it really disturbing when something or someone gets into your way,and how much u really want things to work to plan but yah kite hanya merancang, DIA yang menentukan.
but i just cant stop feeling dat way, how much i tried to b optimistic, it just kill the hopes.i am sorry i have to feel that way.please change...*
but still on a high note, saturday gave me another whole loads or reasons to smile and believe.
cmon.be realistic babe.but who cares. only the brave ones dares to dream. and that is what i am gonna do, although i noe it gonna end as soon as reality wakes me up.
DAMN!
haha.
a few of my babes noes what really make my day.
rite deiya and razan?
it gave me a -never-ending-smile- memory.
and like fyeza say, it might be just fate or fatal coincidence
'dengan secara kebetulan'
haha.it happens.and i swear i will remember it and smile abt it in times to come.

saturday.
you noe i must thank 'Arifah for the lovess.
running in the rain and soaking like 90% of myself is like a to-do list in year 2007.
i never felt this 'free'.i cant blame another person but thanking her and the PPP geng for the awesome treat.
like yeahyeah.
a lil gig dosage was enough for me.
a WHOLE DOSAGE with my lovely razan and deiya never gonna kill me.
i would pay my life to be around my girlfriends and thanks for listening to my random-ness
like nonsense can?haha

and thanks to 'i-noe-who-and you-dont' stranger.
you gave me an inject of the feeling i have lost for so many years.
it just a matter of time till it be gone:)

till then...
i love your name
sweaty palms and skipping heartbeat.


with love,

okie
yeay.hahaha.slack time in school.
de feeling is so different.
no ppt no meetings to rushed.
went to school today to conduct de audition thingy.
it was fun and nice and relaxing moment.
haha.i was supposed to catch up on ugly betty, which i so not haven.haha
was busy entertained by all de music and jokes by deiya,akhbar and 'arifah.
audition was fun.but lepakking wif dese bunch were a-w-e-some.haha
reviewing session this friday.
so which means PPP meeting dis friday ok sweeties?
haha
dis means i ammmmm soooo packed.
haha.
tuesday- Nadi Sastera
Thurs-kidsRead
Friday-PPP
and darn. i still have PP to think abt.
u noe how sad a pathetic is dis.
haha.

okie.
year2 was like shitt.
i hate some lessons.
like hmmm.
i dunno.i love my group(yanti,shaff and shimah)
and with shama too
haha
like effing farrging when i dun ferk deserve a C for dis module.
i not boastful lah.but wth.i am bladdy sick on dat day.i was sneezing badly dat some classmates have to buy me tissue and i cant talk or laugh coz i will have difficulty in breathing and then u still blame me for not being vocal.
wth wth wth.


and tooot
i am in a jiwang2 mood.
no.stop it.
i just feel like singing all dese songs.
haha.
and its like finally i sang in school.i hardly sings coz i sux and i cant sing a bdae song rite too
-_-''pathetic gilerr.
hahaha


whatever.
okie i have a lott to update but heck.i will post dis first.
nehh

:))

my hott girlfriend,gossipmonggers etc.
my w66G babes.and shama de hot mama is not in.except duriing networking.where we will have loads of funs.
and i cant stop having laughs with these grls.and one more week, we gonna be in different grp, no more gossip and critics.damn.

anyway.
first day of womanhood.AGAIN.
swings.
haha.
and i have new drug now.
"Izinku Pergi" by Kaer.
it has been repeating on my player since afternoon and my MP3 batt is dying.
its a sad love song that had made me moved to tears.
de last time i had tears listening to jiwang song was during sec.
HISTORY!
haha.
i miss my babes very much.

ok tootootoot
i hate dis feeling of being....
u noe.
how i wish*sometimes* that there will be a place where i will be alone.
cryng and searching desperately for something that is very dear to me.
where i will rant and talked on my own.
collecting memories that were once my story.
where no one is there to get hurt
and no one to be loved.....

so YEAH
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROY IRYAN!!!!!!!
we, the happy jellynauts are proud of you.haha
so anyway,we the jellynauts do things beyond normal teens do.haha.
tell me, how will a teenager celeberate his legal 18th birthday??
haha.we tell u how we celbrate his bdae.
WE WENT HIKING AT MACRITCHIE!!
yeap we did.
i think we walked more than abt 8km?
erm....
haha
yeapp.we started our journey like 2.40?
and a five kilometer walk up to de HSBC TREE TOP WALK!!!!!
haha.and if i am not mistaken its just opened last year.if i am not wrong lar..
haha.i tell u.IT WAS FUN!
me and nurra and fiza must say we are 'pengecut' because everytime we sees monyet we will cuddle and even at the slightest strange noise.
I AM SERIOUS.haha.i remmeber at this side trail perling trail or something like dat, when we enjoying de swamp, suddenly there was a lot of monkey jumping around.haha.we started to move back and stay close together.haha.
den we proceed on to terap hut to celebrate ROY's bdae.aint we sweet.we have cake and sandwich and a sweet card for him, after stuffing ourself with de cakes we continued on with the trek.which have abt 2.5 km more.and we finally reach the small hut before proceeding de treetop walk.i swear it was de hardest walk ever, the hill was steep and like mun said 'boleh rase graviti'haha.it was hard and i was like a punctured tyre.haha.but it was worth it,

AND I HEARD NO LIVE TELECAST FOR APM.shitt.i noe its random.haha

okie back to de story.WE WERE HIGH on the tree top.seriously it was high!and it was fun fun fun fun.haha.rest for a while, and den proceed to JELUTONG Tower.which is a kilometer walk.haha.upon reaching, mun and roy start tehor barbaric thing-cut nurra's hair!haha.and den they fall asleep,de four of them sleepin and now i start my mission snapping their beauty sleep pic.haha.fiza was awken by de drizzle and started picturetaking and singing,haha.
we left the tower like at 7.15?i swear de whole place was dark and eerie.but agian de bdae boy keep insisting it wasnt dark enuff.haha.haha.de boys put pranks by hiding in de bush suddenly leaving the three girls starnded.thanks ehh..okie it was damn dark and all i cud see is white shoes glowing,haha.we exitted at no entry that lead us to civilisation.haha.

the end.hehehe:)

actualli more.see pic for more.

err.

OUH yAR

last friday went back to bedok after to school to celebrate wan's and shukri's bdae.

we had a lot of fooood for a small family.

anyway HAPPY 16th BDAE SHUKRI. hope u will do well is exams and score well for n'level yeah:)

and HAPPY 21st BDAE WAN.hahaha.NS TIME BEBEH.hahaso yeapp.dats was how i spent my friday
and saturday was having some AWESOME wkshp at TAPAC(Telok Ayer Performing Arts Centre).
had fun time wif 'arifah,naq and akhbar.
i love de talks and esp the training session on sun.
and de cutest thing we did was that, we de RP gang wore gree on sun.hehe

and my adventure does end yet.
on monday, after MCG meeting which we started planning on having de actors have their own character so that they can menjiwai.and we are damn excited as we will meet again dis friday to do more m0re.haha.:)
and me and razan and deiya had dinner.fatin was not arnd coz she she is not in PPP but bahas.haiz.but still we will meet up soon.okie after dinner we wnet pasar malam and UK funfair.we girls are having de time of our life.but before that we leapk kat lib to do some talks and henna.hehe.UK FUNFAIR is syiok and deiya, i noe ur eagerness for vortex and razan, i dun care a ride man.haha

and i thanks these people for my great days.

loves:)